Plus-Size

I feel like the most American thing about me is that I am 20-30 pounds overweight (according to the racist one-size-fits all measurement, BMI or Body Mass Index: seriously, whose bodies do you think it is based on?). I am sometimes shocked to hear that the average American woman is now my size - a size 14 in clothing. But then I feel a sense of belonging and community even though my body type appears to be in the minority in the California cities I have been to or lived in. Growing up, my immigrant parents tried to nag me into losing weight, for social reasons I suspect but under the guise of health. They would encourage me to eat less, a single apple for one meal a day, or to not eat at all. I think that is the only time that I have ever felt ashamed of my body and a pressing urge to lose weight and obtain a "normal" BMI (again this is not an exact science and what is "normal" is different for different people). But for the most part, I have embraced my curvier, busty body and who I am because being like the majority of people has never been high on my list of priorities. If I was unique in this way, then by gosh I was going to be unique in this way and own it.

For me, being plus-size means deprioritizing society's beauty ideals and celebrating people in different and often targeted bodies like mine. It means celebrating our inner beauty and strength in addition to reclaiming our outer appearances. It means taking insults from complete strangers and finding the fortitude and composure to keep moving through a world not made to accomodate us. It means building community with other people that have been othered in this way and supporting them and receiving support from them. When I was in high school I auditioned for a beauty pageant and my introduction was "I want to become the Rose queen so that I can be a role model for other plus-size women of color and change the world."

I love following plus-size fashion magazines, pages and models on social media and finding the latest trendy styles/outfits that fit my body. However, I feel a sense of belonging/community with other plus-size women mostly because I understand how our sizes are a social stigma that hinder us in several aspects of our lives. This is due to sizeism, or discrimination based on size that is directed towards people that are overweight or larger than our society's ideal. I have felt this discrimination most acutely in the dating world and I've noticed how it has affected other plus-size women. I have seen how white women, who are hailed as the standard of beauty in U.S. society, are highly desirable and coveted, provided they have thin bodies. However, white women that are plus-size do not receive this same status of ultra-desirability by virtue of their overweight bodies. Sizeism and how it shapes the ways we navigate the world make me feel solidarity with plus-size white women that I do not feel with thin white women. This is coming from a plus-size black woman from an immigrant background, who is marginalized in several other aspects. But sizeism is the common ground that makes me feel at home in the plus-size community.

Sometime in 2015, there was a cultural shift. Lane Bryant launched its "I'm No Angel" social media campaign featuring 6 or 7 plus models all around the average American woman's size. As per usual I was delighted and very supportive of this campaign and the ideas it represented, i.e. beauty comes in all sizes. After this campaign, there was an explosion of plus-size representation in the mainstream media and not just the familiar outlets I followed. But it came in the form of Ashley Graham's career as a plus-size model taking off. In the plus-size communities and outlets I followed there was diverse representation of different plus-sizes from 14-28 and beyond. There were a diverse group of women being shown - black, brown latina, and white. But in the mainstream media there is only one representation of plus-size women - Ashley Graham. She represents the most privileged kind of plus-size woman; white and relatively small at a size 14-16. I can acknowledge my privilege here as a size 14 - I am able to shop in straight-size stores like Forever 21 and Target and fit into a size Large. I can also shop at plus-size stores like Torrid and fit into a size zero, one or the smallest sizes. The mainstream media's focus on Ashley Graham worries me because it might create a new beauty ideal that is pretty similar to the current one; plus-size but only the smallest sizes 14-16 and white. This risks erasing and losing the representation of all of the plus-size models that are women of color and/or bigger than a size 14-16.

On this note, I want to acknowledge who the plus-size movement is neglecting; plus-size men. I see representation of plus men and male models here and there but they are largely invisible. The plus-size movement was created for and marketed towards plus-size women with the goal of creating a body positive society - for women. Even the way we talk about fat is geared towards women - it is slowly becoming more socially acceptable to be a curvy woman and to have excess fat. While it's true that women (especially women of color) tend to have curvier bodies and are more strictly held to beauty standards, the plus-size movement should be more inclusive of men and gender non-conforming folx. I think this goes back to gender roles where women are allowed to have emotions, feelings and insecurities about their bodies and men are expected to be stoic, providers and studs. Men should be allowed to have, process and show their emotions just as freely and this includes body image issues. Plus-size men and gender non-conforming people deserve more space and platforms to discuss how our society's body ideals affect them and for them to change these ideals.

Although these issues are just as important, sizeism in the U.S. does not end at a lack of representation in the media or discrimination in the dating arena. Sizeism is being unable to fit into the clothes at most stores because they only sell straight-size clothes that reflect society's ideal bodies. Sizeism is having no choice but to shop at plus-size retail stores like Torrid and Lane Bryant that are way overpriced; it's being charged significantly more money because your body is different. Sizeism is job discrimination or being less likely to be hired for a job. Sizeism is being refused treatment by a doctor or being misdiagnosed because your weight is assumed to be the (only) problem. When looking at the big picture it becomes clear how sizeism affects lives.

I would like to take this time to acknowledge that the U.S.'s clothing industry is couched in neocolonialism and neoliberal racism. Most of the clothing sold in the U.S. is created in sweatshops here and abroad that abuse, exploit and severely underpay people of color from third world countries. This is a huge issue that is connected with the inequitable flow of money in the U.S. clothing industry. While I wish to see our society tackle sizeism whole-heartedly, I see the need to simultaneously uphaul the clothing industry.